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Saturday, October 21, 2006

STOCK TIPS GALORE 

Frater Chad passes on suicidal thoughts on the likely outcome of the upcoming elections. I'm, shall we say, less distraught. We'll find out soon enough, and I'm intrigued by the window that will open into the psyche of the American people.

Our local paper recently published a "quiz" adapted from Applebee's America, a book by two former presidential political strategists, that accurately predicted both the Monk and my political leanings from questions about our consumer preferences.

But the data underpinning the book can run both ways so it seems equally interesting to me to try to figure out where America's consumer tastes are headed by reading the election tea leaves. Hey Chad! head off the blues of a donkey win with these savvy stock moves:
Spitbull recommends you hedge your expected political losses with potential financial gains.

Friday, October 20, 2006

THEY EAT TOAST IN CHINA, DON'T THEY? 

Forget Halloween; the five year old is already on to Christmas. She dictated this list for Santa:
  • Chinese book with words inside
  • Chinese doll
  • Chinese teapot
  • Japanese picture
  • Chinese movie
  • Chinese animal
  • Chinese music box
  • Chinese checkerboard
  • Chinese clothes
  • Chinese hair things
  • Chinese game
  • Japanese watch
  • Chinese chopsticks
  • Chinese candle
  • Chinese flute
  • Chinese clock
  • Chinese sleeping bag
Why the Asian emphasis? We're not sure. It may have started this summer with her martial arts obsession.

I expected her interest to peter out but no, it seems to have only strengthened over time. This morning she discovered a package of chopsticks left over from a takeout meal and ate (I mean attempted to eat) her toast with it.

Take note, A Relative.

UPDATE: She ate her dinner of hot dogs and apple slices with chopsticks too.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

BLOGFASHION 



At Saks Fifth Avenue. Not going to spark a trend, I suspect. And I think there's a reason they didn't show his face...

Thursday, October 12, 2006

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN 

Mmmmmmm .... maggot juice.

Friday, October 06, 2006

ONE FEWER THING TO WORRY ABOUT 

On the topic of global warming. . .

The 2005 hurricane season was really bad. Record 26 named storms, most major hurricanes ever, most storms in July, most category V storms, etc., etc. And of course there was Katrina, and (worse for us Floridians) Wilma.

You may recall that environmental types were quick to blame global warming. It was all highly dubious science, but this histrionic Boston Globe essay is typical ("The hurricane that struck Louisiana yesterday was nicknamed Katrina by the National Weather Service. Its real name is global warming...."). I didn’t see the damn thing (life is so short), but apparently Al Gore’s movie An Inconvenient Truth played up the Katrina thing to great rhetorical effect as well (see this sympathetic account). I mean, the poster for the movie shows a hurricane swirling from a factory smokestack!

So what do these schmoes make of the 2006 season? It’s been a complete breeze! It's October, and just nine named storms, only five of them hurricanes. None of them have been anywhere near major, none have had any significant impact on land.

I guess the globe cooled off this year.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

GLOBAL WARMING IS LESS FRIGHTENING 

For the second time, the five year old has come home from school with a (five year old) boy's telephone number scrawled on a sheet of paper in what appears to be red crayon (the previous one was orange). This sheet had a heart (outlined in green marker) cut out of it.

Did I mention that she's taking karate at school (her idea)? Twenty boys. And the five year old. She loves it.

Did I mention that we're already shaking in our boots at the thought of adolescence?

Monday, October 02, 2006

MORE ON APOLOGIES 

This morning’s news is pretty interesting for anyone interested in the art of the apology. As previously noted, this wonderful essay sets forth the gold standard. With that in mind, here’s a couple of apologies to consider.

Congressman Mark Foley, after getting caught sending sexually suggestive electronic communications ("suggestive" may not be the right word for these, actually -- yipes) to underage male pages:

"I strongly believe that I am an alcoholic and have accepted the need for immediate treatment for alcoholism and other behavioral problems."

Is there such thing as an F-minus? It’s not even an apology! "Other behavioral problems," indeed.

Okay, here’s Tennessee defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth, after he stomped on Dallas center Andre Gurode’s face, causing injuries requiring stitches.

"I apologize to Andre. What I did was disgusting. It's something that should never happen. I mean, I'm not a dirty player. I don't play dirty. I have respect for the game. What I feel like is I disgraced the game, disgraced my team and disgraced my last name."

Not bad. Not bad at all.